Thursday 8 July 2010

Day 5 - My Favourite Quote

This, for me, is quite hard. Despite my love of words of wisdom, I do not have a favourite quote stored in my mind. Apart from "Fuck 'em", which I have always loved but didn't think would be sufficient for this post.

It has taken a long time of flicking through various online journals, word documents and scraps of discarded paper to find quotes I think are worthy of favouritism.

As I was doing this, I remembered the fumbled fragments of the quote I had stored as my favourite. After a while of thinking and (metaphorically) bashing my head against the wall I worked out what it was. I'm not sure if the wording is correct or much about the man who said it, apart from that his first name was 'Robert', but I think this is it:

In 3 words I can sum up everything I have learned about life: it goes on.

That's the truth. It's glaringly obvious in all it's simplicity, yet it's something many of us choose to ignore. Whatever happens, life goes on. You get through things. You don't know how. None of us do. But you do.

I thought I would take this oppurtunity to list some other favourite quotes of mine:

When you are done being in love with someone, all that's left is love.

I believe this wholeheartedly. Those people who talk about falling out of love with someone and now not caring about them? They were never in love at all. Love is not something that leaves. You may not agree with me, but this is a belief of mine that will not budge. Love changes but it never disappears. I feel that too many people don't realise this - they are bitter towards those they were once in love with. So, at least think about this for a second. Think about how it applies to you.

The following are song lyrics, and resonated with me from the moment I heard them:

Well if you are what you love,
and you do what you love,
I will always be the sun and moon to you.
And if you share with your heart,
yeah, you give with your heart,
what you share with the world is what it keeps of you.

The lyrics are simple yet powerful. They are so true, and yet I don't take any of that advice. Do you?

Wednesday 7 July 2010

Top 5 Parties (and Social Gatherings Masquerading as Parties)

Last Sunday morning, I woke up to the sounds of the Glee soundtrack, remixed, blasting out of the speakers residing in a nearby barn. I was shivering so violently I could have been forgiven for thinking I was having some kind of fit. As I came to, I realised I was surrounded by the canvas of a two-man tent, and as I turned to my left, I was affronted by the sleeping body of a half-dressed guy. The events of last night came flashing back. Shit, shit, shit. First reaction? Pretend to be asleep.

Somehow I actually did fall asleep, because next time I scanned my surroundings, the guy had vanished. I could hear people talking outside, I was aware I looked like shit and was still not entirely sober, and the last thing I wanted was to face them. I managed to escape and disappear for a walk in the 6am sunlight down the streets of...wherever the hell I was. As I walked I passed a man in his front garden, who, upon seeing me, decided he would stare at me incredulously until I left. Had he never seen a solitary teenage girl with ripped tights, matted hair and last night's vodka clutched to her chest at 6 in the morning? Apparently not.

Eventually, I made my way back to the party. To my surprise, I was not faced with the people I had spent the previous night with, but a large group of boys playing buckaroo with their sleeping friend and the help of some Vitafit orange juice cartons. Perplexed as to who the hell these people were, I joined them for an agonising half hour until I could get the hell out of there.

Now, we've all had those awkward morning afters, but it got me to thinking about all the good times that go with them. So, I decided to compile a list of 5 Top Parties. Hopefully I've included enough variety.

1. Afterprom: I'm not going to make any excuses, my prom was inexplicably awful. After an excruciating three hours of trying to enjoy ourselves but to no avail, me and my friends turned up at afterprom at midnight. The night began with my friend, completely sober, falling into the swimming pool. This, it has to be said, was a sign that the rest of the night was going to be hilarious. We were surrounded by acres of land, haystacks serving as seats, a massive marquee and a host of amazing DJs. Nothing could go wrong. And really, nothing did. There was a little drama involving a guy I was involved with at the time, but I was far too drunk to dwell on this and the rest of the night was spent dancing non-stop with people I only vaguely knew.

2. New Years Eve 09/10: Last New Years Eve, I managed to drag two of my friends to a party where none of us really knew anyone. Two guys from college had opened their flat to any party-goers around, and the night was spent dancing to all the classics that everybody loves, whether they admit it or not. 2010 was brought in with Rage Against The Machine - you simply cannot be happy when you're surrounded with people simultaneously shouting, "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!" and then celebrated with my two friends by sitting in a shopping trolley and being spun around the concrete pavement repeatedly until we inevitably crashed to the ground, our heads cracking against the floor and our limbs scraped and bruised. My friend then accidentally burnt himself, and we proceeded to get lost in a field and endeavour on a garden-swapping challenge. These were all incrediby immature ideas that, in our drunken state, seemed like the best ideas in the world. And I hate to admit, were pretty fun.

3. Party In The Forest: Residing near to where we live, there's a forest with a clearing and a lake. Obviously, the first thing we will connect this with is...party venue. And so, one night in May, we all congregated, armed with tents, sleeping bags, a bong, weed, alcohol, portable barbeques, frozen food and ipod speakers. I should start this off by saying this wasn't the happiest night of my life, but at least it began and ended well. Putting up tents, singing along to the music, taking hits off the bong - it was all pretty chill. Later on, it was a different story. Pained by the events of the night, I had disappeared, tripping and armed with a sleeping bag, into the middle of the forest. I can't remember much that followed, but I did wake up in a tent, and the following day was one of those relaxed, living on the streets ones where everybody is content.

4. Tent Party: Actually, many parties are 'tent parties' but I was at a loss as to what else to call this. It was my friend's birthday and everyone turned up at her house for a night of debauchery. Nobody knew each other and everyone was sober, so the first hour was excruciatingly awkward, but it picked up after that when two guys arrived, armed with MDMA and a rig which they then proceeded to put in the tent. That was the first, and only, time I have seen a rig in a camping tent. It's funny how you can never see the time when a party goes from everyone hanging around talking to everyone off their faces and going wild. It sneaks up on you. Which is exactly what happened at this one. One minute, everyone was sitting around in the tent, drinking, taking hits off the bong and nibbling at mini milks (don't ask). The next, we were all was racing around the garden, swimming half naked in the pool, getting off with each other and stacking it against the rig. At about 4 in the morning, I was less drunk than I had been before, and me and two friends dragged a duvet out into a nearby field (you can tell I live in the country, eh?) and lay on it looking up at the stars. One of the two friends was high on MDMA and the next two hours were spent listening to his intoxicated ramblings with affectionate amusement.

5. Rocky Horror Picture Show Party This had to make the top 5 simply because we spent the night dressed like prostitutes. If that's not the sign of a good party, what is? The idea for the theme was brought on by a month of repeatedly watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show and learning the dance routine to Time Machine off by heart. We sent off the invitations, demanding everyone dress like characters from the film and knowing full well nobody would, whilst we set about creating costumes. I say costumes, really it was just underwear. Mine consisted of a pair of black boy shorts, red stockings, heels and a black corset, topped off with backcombed hair, smoky eyes and red lips. There is no other situation where you can get away with wearing that outfit (as I have since learnt. I joke, I joke). Near the date of the party, we had also watched Starter For 10, in which at one of their parties a bath is used to store the alcohol. In a flash of genius, we decided this was a great idea, and by some miracle, one of our friends had an abandoned bath tub in his back garden. Flash forward to 2am on the night of the party, and you have hoards of drunk people sitting in a bath full of ice. We had also filled a massive bowl with every form of alcohol in the vicinity, and passed it around along with a straw. It was filled with ash and fag butts by the end of the night, but oh no, that didn't put us off. All in all, it was a good night simply because it was one hell of a laugh.

What would be your five top parties?

In the future I may post an entry describing my 'Top 5 Worst Parties', as I can assure you there is some hilarious material there.

Day 4 - My Favourite Book

I'll never understand why some people don't read. I mean, reading is just...incredible. In between the pages of that small object is a whole new world. You can get lost in it. Really, I know fictional characters far better than I know my real-life versions.

I've noticed a lot of themes when it comes to my favourite books. They often span long periods of time - twenty years, three generations, a lifetime. They often take place in the past. They often deal with prejudice and judging, tight-knit communities. The main character is often isolated by society.

However, the one that tops them all is The Outcast by Sadie Jones. Often my favourite books are ones I have come across by mistake. This one is no exception. I needed something to read and had run out of library books, so I wandered the house in search of some material. In the lounge are a few shelves stacked with the books my parents have accumulated over the years - some favourites, some borrowed and never given back, some gifts that neither of them wanted, some charity shop gems. Among them I found The Outcast, and after reading the blurb and debating whether I wanted to read it, I decided I'd give it a go. I'm so glad I did.

The novel is set in the Forties and Fifties, and begins with the central character, Lewis, being released from prison aged 19. It then flashes back to tell the story of his life up until that moment. He begins his life with his mother, whom he has a close relationship with, and his father, with whom his relationship is less...close. Then tragedy strikes, and changes their family dynamic drastically. The storyline follows how this changes Lewis as a person and how it leads him to quickly become the subject of prejudice from the rest of the community.



This is an excerpt from an interview with the author, Sadie Jones:

What is The Outcast about?

The Outcast is about a boy called Lewis - his childhood and adolescence – as he grows up in the stultifying world of the home counties in the late forties and fifties. It is an everyday tale of drunkenness, violence and a fair amount of sex, set amongst the well-brought-up professional classes. It is also a love story.

What inspired you to write it?

The idea of a boy coming out of prison and trying to fit into a community that is itself corrupt was the first thing that came to me. I wanted to write an Oedipal story, with iconic characters, about what the nature of what it is to belong, and injustice. I set it in the fifties because I have always been very attracted to the books and films of that time.


It's an incredible story - it's riveting and it draws you in, it's disturbing at times but so real. It really goes deeply into human emotions, and I think that's one of the reasons I love it so much.

Please, if you read anything, read this.

Monday 5 July 2010

Day 3 - My Favourite TV Show

I love television. But there really is no competition here. Skins is by far my favourite tv show. This probably doesn't come as a surprise to anyone who has read my previous posts - it is practically impossible for me to refrain from mentioning the show and it's cast at any given oppurtunity. I feel as if I have grown up with Skins, and I do sometimes wonder if my teenage years would have been different had it not existed - but I'll go into that later.

Skins came to our screens in 2007 on E4. 3 and a half years ago, aged 13, I distinctly remember sitting in the lounge, the rain pouring against the windows, accompanied by my family and my best friend at the time, April. What we were watching I can't remember - most likely some mundane daytime television - but I remember this advert suddenly snapping us out of our mindless viewing experience. There were 'young people' (although just teenagers, at my young age they somehow looked a lot older) in brightly-coloured clothes frolicking about on the screen, driving about on children's bikes, having food fights, having sex, dressing up as bears - this, to me, looked like the best party ever. We were all enthralled by this advert, and were awaiting the end of it so we could find out what the hell it was all about. Skins. New Drama. Thursday, 10pm.

If you don't know, Skins is a teen drama about a group of teenagers aged 16 - 18 that go to College in Bristol. Each episode focuses on a different character and gives us an insight into their lives, as we follow the developing relationships and struggles of the characters. Every two years the cast is changed so that the show remains about 16 - 18 year olds. Although labelled as a teen drama, everyone from my little brother's 10-year-old friends to my 75-year-old grandma has borrowed the DVDs from me.


Still from the Series 1 trailer.

We all resolved to watch it and the following Thursday I was sat with my parents, watching what would become my favourite show and new obsession. I found it hilarious, although I must not have taken in the more serious parts of it, because I remember thinking of it primarily as a comedy. When the episode finished, my mum said, "Isn't it great that there's finally something realistic about teenagers?" Every Friday would be spent going over every second of the previous episode with April, and the remaining days of the week were spent speculating over what would happen next.

It was also during this time that we decided our lives were going to be exactly like that of the Skins gang, and many run-ins with drug dealers, nights spent sleeping in abandoned warehouses and drunken parties ensued. There's a lot of debate over whether Skins has influenced teenagers, and what I have just said definitely backs that view up. But when it comes down to it, I think it is a fair representation of teens of actual 'Skins age' and is far more influential to the younger ones who watch it.

There are many reasons I love Skins. It's one of the most realistic representations of British teens out there. Series 1 pretty much is my life. I think we can all agree that after that the realism went a bit down hill, which really is a shame. There are times, most prevelant during Series 4, when I have wanted to slap the writers. The characters are realistic, relatable, complex people - no one-dimensions among them. I think all teenagers can identify with at least one of the characters, or various aspects of each of the characters. Altogether, pretty much everything that has happened to the Skins crew has happened to me and my friends. (Bar driving into a lake, although this has almost happened on many an occasion, and one of us being murdered with a baseball bat. Yes, that's where you got it wrong, Skins writers. What the fuck were you thinking?)


The 1st Generation, clockwise: Anwar Kharral, Tony Stonem, Michelle Richardson, Sid Jenkins, Cassie Ainsworth, Maxxie Oliver, Posh Kenneth, Abigail Stock, Chris Miles & Jal Fazer.

I love the way they all dress to reflect their personalities, and the soundtrack is amazing. It's everything all in one - it can be funny, serious, wild, poignant, upsetting, mundane, dramatic, heartwarming, heartbreaking. There are so many beautiful lines within the show. The supporting characters - teachers and family members, are all hilarious and interesting in their own right (my favourite of which is James Fitch, twins Katie & Emily's little brother.) I am incredibly attached to the characters - most importantly, Effy Stonem and James Cook, who are my all time favourite characters. I relate so much to Effy it's unreal, and I'm in love with Cook - his character is amazingly well-developed. Other favourite characters of mine are Tony, Sid, Chris, Michelle, Katie & Emily.


The 2nd Generation, l-r: JJ Jones, Naomi Campbell, Emily Fitch, Katie Fitch, James Cook, Effy Stonem, Freddie McLair, Pandora Moon & Thomas Tomone.

I don't want to give away any plotlines in case you havn't seen it. Take a look at these videos and if you're still not interested in watching it, why?!

A serious one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmX95PakaHM&playnext_from=TL&videos=JEzSMs6sxBw

A funnier one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AauiuCE43HU&feature=related

My number one reason for loving the show? It shows teenagers as they are. Their good points and their bad points, and as a viewer, you are forced to either accept them or not.

What's With All The Guilty Pleasures?

Guilty Pleasures. They are something I've never been able to understand. If you like something, you like it. Where does guilt come into it?

I love Jedward. I love cheesy 80s music and S Club 7 still put a smile on my face. Nothing puts me in a better mood than a good chick flick and I read trashy magazines. I watch Come Dine With Me despite my lack of interest in cooking. Christmas is my favourite time of year. I can still be entertained my Postman Pat and Pingu. I adore singing along to Jackson 5 and I'm addicted to 90210.

I like all the things you're not meant to like. If I was into being cool I would not admit to any of this. I would, at the most, put it down to guilty pleasure. But really, when you think about it, isn't it the most ridiculous thing? Feeling guilty about liking something? Have some acceptance, people! You like it and deep down you know that that's all there is to it. And if you want to get into the psychological side of things, surely it's not entirely healthy. These things you like make up, in part, who you are. If you're feeling guilty about them then you are, effectively, feeling guilty about who you are as a person. I'm not claiming to be some kind of qualified psychologist, but I think we can all agree that's never going to be good for anyone.



I bet this picture of S Club 7 is putting a smile on your face already.

So, don't you think it's time we started ditching the guilty pleasures?

Saturday 3 July 2010

Day 2 - My Favourite Film

Fun, invigorating, refreshingly real and poignant at times, The Boat That Rocked is my favourite film.

When it comes to films, I always feel a kind of obligation to herald an old film as my favourite. There is an unspoken rule that if it's too new it surely can't be worthy of favouritism. But, The Boat That Rocked is my favourite film and it was released in 2009. Simply put, it overtook all it's 'favourite film' predecessors - The Parent Trap, Love Actually, Vicky Cristina Barcelona. As you can see, overly serious films just don't make the cut with me. Not to say I don't like them, I do, it's just that they have never jumped out as favourites to me.

Back on to the main topic, my first viewing of The Boat That Rocked was an incredible experience for me - something about it touched me. It manages to be heartwarming and endearing and upsetting all at the same time. The relationships between the characters are filled with realism, which is they key to making any fictional relationship interesting, in my opinion.

There are so many subtleties throughout the film which give it it's feel - the moment when teenager Carl is sitting on the sofa with his head to the floor, after the girl he's interested in - Marianne - sleeps with another ship member, and two other members come and sit with him, armed with tea and biscuits. Carl is not moved by this approach, and after a while of the three of them seated in silence and stillness, the two other men begin eating the biscuits themselves, dipping them in Carl's tea. This soon brings a smile to Carl's face and he begins joining in, laughing. But even with this his sadness is still evident. That moment has always stood out to me, I love it.

I don't want to go into the plotline, although perhaps I should have at least outlined it before beginning this post. Here's a late delivery - it's the 1960s, and 18-year-old Carl (Tom Sturridge) is sent to live with his godfather (Bill Nighy) on a ship committed to pirate radio, in an attempt to straighten him out. (It's worth mentioning here that Carl does not actually need to be straightened out.) It soon becomes evident that with that intention in mind, this was not the best place to send him. Meanwhile, the British government are plotting to find a way to put a stop to pirate radio. That's the plot in all it's simplicity, but it really is much more than that. All in all, it's about teh relationships between these people as well as the feel of the 60s. This is enhanced by a brilliant soundtrack.

If you havn't already seen it, please, please do. It's genius. If you live in the US it will be renamed Pirate Radio.

This is a link to the trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyXu0mC38SE

Friday 2 July 2010

A Puff Of Curls

In the past two years or so, I have grown to love my long, messy, naturally wavy hair. It will never be shiny or glossy and it will never do what I tell it to, but I've almost learnt to accept it. It's thick and wiry and unruly. But it is what it is, and at least I can do the effortless look. Unfortunately, that is the only look I can do.

However, recently it has become in such bad condition that I really have only one option: to chop it off. At first this seemed like an abomination. I am trying to grow my hair, how dare you suggest I cut it off! But then I got into the idea.

Here are the girls that are inspiring me right now:



Body Doubles

Something that has been hard for me to accept is that one thing we all know to be true: if you want to look good, you need to dress for your body shape.

Being a 5'2 hourglass with 28FF breasts, dressing to suit my shape is something that has forever perplexed me, and whilst I still havn't gotten it down to a T, I'm definitely beginning to figure it out. For years I have moaned like a petulant child - Why can't I be tall? Why can't I have a straight up-and-down figure that allows me to wear anything I want? Why?! I look stupid in this, the skinny girl over there doesn't! It's just not fair! Really, it was ridiculous, I sounded like a 5-year-old. Only now have I realised that this is who I am, and that, shock, this is actually what I want to be. Yes, being tall and skinny might make things a lot easier, but it's not me.

I have found that it's a lot easier to grow comfortable with your shape if you have others to identify with. Because of this, I've compiled a list of body types and the celebrities that match them.

SHORT HOURGLASS WOMEN (5'3 and under, hips and breasts same width, dramatically narrowing at the waist, pronounced curves)

Kim Kardashian, Vanessa White, Scarlett Johansson, Cheryl Cole, America Ferrera, Jessica Simpson, Hayden Panettiere, Vikki Blow, Lisa Backwell, Keisha Buchanan, Salma Hayek, Carmen Electra, Shakira, Christina Aguilera, Marina Diamandis.

SHORT PEAR-SHAPED WOMEN (5'3 and under, hips and bum much wider than waist and breasts)

Rachel Stevens, Lily Allen, Heidi Range, Amelle Berrabah.

SHORT BOYISH WOMEN (5'3 and under, straight up-and-down figure)

Frankie Sandford, Nicole Richie, Sienna Miller, Natalie Portman, Kristen Bell, Thandie Newton, Emma Roberts, Christina Ricci, Mary-Kate Olsen, Ashley Olsen, Audrey Tautou.

SHORT AVERAGE WOMEN (okay so I've made up the 'average' body type) (5'3 and under, figure in proportion, too many curves to be boyish but not curvy enough to be hourglass)

Rachel Bilson, Eva Longoria, Megan Prescott, Kathryn Prescott, Lacey Turner, Dannii Minoque, Elisha Cuthbert, Mila Kunis, Anna Friel, Alyssa Milano.

AVERAGE-HEIGHT HOURGLASS WOMEN (between & including 5'4 and 5'6, hips and breasts same width, dramatically narrowing at the waist, pronounced curves)

Eva Mendes, Keeley Hazell, Megan Fox, Billie Piper, Nicole Scherzinger, Angelina Jolie, Marion Cotillard, Dita von Teese.

AVERAGE HEIGHT PEAR-SHAPED WOMEN (between & including 5'4 and 5'6, hips and bum much wider than waist and breasts)

Elizabeth Banks, Jennifer Metcalfe, Kimberley Walsh, Charlotte Church, Lindsay Lohan, Lauren Conrad, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus.

AVERAGE HEIGHT BOYISH WOMEN (between & including 5'4 and 5'6, straight up-and-down figure)

Olivia Palermo, Kaya Scodelario, Emma Watson, Kristin Kreuk, Jessica Alba, Kristen Stewart, Freida Pinto, Jennifer Aniston, Rachel McAdams, Victoria Beckham, Sarah Jessica Parker, Dianna Agron, Nicola Roberts.

AVERAGE HEIGHT AVERAGE WOMEN (okay so I've made up the 'average' body type) (between & including 5'4 and 5'6, figure in proportion, too many curves to be boyish but not curvy enough to be hourglass)

Leighton Meester, Vanessa Hudgens, Lily Loveless, Nadine Coyle, Summer Glau, Eliza Dushku, Ashley Greene, Britney Spears, Kara Tointon, Penelope Cruz, Lea Michele.

TALL HOURGLASS WOMEN (5'7 and over, hips and breasts same width, dramatically narrowing at the waist, pronounced curves)

Beyonce Knowles, Katy Perry, Pixie Lott, Gemma Arterton, Rochelle Wiseman, Adriana Lima, Kelly Brook, Christina Hendricks, Holly Willoughby.

TALL PEAR-SHAPED WOMEN (5'7 and over, hips and bum much wider than waist and breasts)

Rihanna, Alessandra Ambrosio, Una Healy, Michelle Obama.

TALL BOYISH WOMEN (5'7 and over, straight up-and-down figure)

Sarah Harding, Jessica Stroup, Kate Moss, Alexa Chung, Taylor Swift, Paris Hilton, Kate Beckinsale, Zoe Saldana, Olivia Wilde, Gisele Bundchen, Charlize Theron, Ana Ivanovic, Keira Knightley, Evangeline Lilly, Fearne Cotton, Chloe Sevigny, Taylor Momsen, Cameron Diaz, Gwen Stefani.

TALL AVERAGE WOMEN (okay so I've made up the 'average' body type) (5'7 and over, figure in proportion, too many curves to be boyish but not curvy enough to be hourglass)

Whitney Port, Blake Lively, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Amber Heard, Audrina Patridge, Olga Kurylenko, Doutzen Kroes, Florence Welch.

I would have posted images but my laptop's being weird, sorry about that. Google imae any one of these ladies accompanied with the word 'style' and you'll find lots of inpsiration.

Day 1 - My Favourite Song

In all honesty, I don't think I will ever find a song which I'll be able to descibe as 'my favourite song'. Music is incredible. There is so much of it that you will never in a million years be able to listen to it all. There are so many songs that I listen to the with the kind of wonder reserved for genius and works of art. There is simply no way I could choose one favourite.

In my mind I have always had this track listed as my favourite: For The Widows In Paradise, For The Fatherless In Ypsilanti by Sufjan Stevens. But truthfully I know that it is not really my all-time favourite song, because I don't have one.



It is however an incredible song, which has always moved me. Which is strange in a way because whilst the themes of the song are highly religious, I am not.

These are the lyrics:

I have called you children,
I have called you son.
What is there to answer,
if I'm the only one?
Mourning comes in paradise,
mourning comes in light,
still I must obey,
still I must invite.

If there's anything to say,
if there's anything to do,
if there's any other way,
I'd do anything for you.

I was dressed in embarrassment,
I was dressed in white.
If you have a part of me,
will you take your time?
Even if I come back,
even if I die,
is there some idea,
to replace my life?

Like a father to impress,
like a mother's mourning dress,
if we ever make a mess,
I'll do anything for you.

I have called you preacher,
I have called you son.
If you have a father,
or if you havn't one.

I'll do anything for you,
I'll do anything for you,
I'll do anything for you,
I'll do anything for you,
I'll do anything for you.

I did everything for you,
I did everything for you,
I did everything for you,
I did everything for you,
I did everything for you,
I did everything for you,
I did everything for you,
I did everything for you,
I did everything for you,
I did everything for you,
I did everything for you,
I did everything for you,
I did everything for you,
I did everything for you.


I first heard the song on The OC, during an episode in which one of the characters, Johnny's, funeral took place. It had been a shocking and accidental death, and the song coincided with the characters, both living and dead, and their feelings towards one another. It was beautiful and heartbreaking for me - considering my aforementioned intense involvement with film and television characters, and ever since the song has meant a lot to me.

You should check it out, it's amazing, here's a link to the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4tkiGvV_ek

I hope you like it.

Sunday 2 May 2010

Seven messages to seven people.

The idea of this post is to write seven messages to seven people that you have things to say to, but don't have the guts to say to their face. Useful for me, because telling people things is something I literally have no idea how to do.

1. I have no interest in being your friend anymore, you're so full of shit. You're so occupied with yourself and your problems that you can't give any time to anyone else's. I at least make an effort to understand why certain things are important to you, but you can't do the same for me. I've known you my whole life and I can't help but care about you, but I'm done. We're so different from each other and I thought we could make it work but we can't. You never take me seriously just because I'm not as interested in the traditional things you are. I'm fed up of your excuses, I wish you could just be honest. I can tell you think I'm heartless and impolite sometimes, but at least everything I say isn't an outright lie. You can't always say what you think people want to hear regardless of whether it's true, it doesn't work like that. We both know that what friendship we used to have is gone and we both know that the other knows. I can't put up with you any longer. To be blunt, I love you, but I want nothing to do with you anymore.

2. I havn't known you for very long, and we know little about each other. But I feel different with you - I feel like a better person. You make me happy, and not many people do. I don't know what my feelings for you are, what category they're meant to fit into. But everything doesn't need a category, does it? Not yet, anyway. And I think I might have fucked it up, said the wrong thing. Or maybe I havn't, maybe you don't care. I don't know, but I'm worried because you havn't spoken to me since. I'm worried that your perception of me has changed, that you don't like what you see anymore. It shouldn't be a big deal, because as I said, we havn't known each other long. But all I know is this - you make me happy, and I want you to be in my life.

3. You know, I don't know how to feel about you. I love you. I always will. All I know is that from the moment I met you, you made a major change in my life and in myself. You are the only person who knows me for who I really am, even if I don't show it much anymore. The only person I have ever let my guard down in front of. You know who I am under the facade. I fell in love with you, whether you really loved me as you thought you did, I'll never know. But I don't think it matters, not really. We had a connection and then we fucked each other up. It doesn't matter. What's done is done. I feel no regret anymore. You are still the person I feel most comfortable around. We don't talk much anymore, but that doesn't matter either. I am comfortable in the way I feel about you and the past that we share. I feel like I'm getting a bit cliched here.. I don't have feelings for you anymore, like you don't have feelings for me. But I care about you a lot. I don't know if you care about me, but it's not of any relevance. I believe everyone you ever meet leaves some kind of mark on you, and you left one of the biggest.

4. Never have I felt such conflicting emotions towards someone as I have towards you. I can go from feeling fond and loving towards you to feeling intense hate and distaste towards you. Sometimes you repulse me. Sometimes I empathise with you. I love you but I've never worked out whether I like you or not. We are alike in a lot of ways, though I hate to admit it. We are both independent and secretive and reckless. But we are also not alike, and I hate how you try to make out that we are. I'm quiet, where you are loud. You talk about yourself too much, I avoid talking about myself at all. You are judgemental of others and far too superior, I am open towards others and, mind the cliche, think we're all equal. I hate the fact that I have accidentally let you know too much about myself, but I like it too. I argue with you more than anyone else. I know you get frustrated with me because of the way I am, but can't you see there's something wrong? I want to tell you but I don't know how.

5. I'm very, very, very fond of you. Sometimes I question whose death would hurt me the most, and come to the conclusion that it would be yours. I love you very much although I'm almost certain I have never told you. I hope it goes without saying. I'm glad that we get on. We might not talk much, but I feel a bond with you. We'll always be in the same boat no matter what happens. We've always been together, you and me. One day, I hope that we become closer.

6. I barely know you but I think we'd be fucking good together. You've no idea how much I want to talk to you, but I just don't know how. I don't know what to say. I know more about you than I should, considering we've probably said one sentence to each other in our entire lives, but what I do know, just makes me think....fuck, this guy seems amazing. And I think we'd be good together, I really do. I'm aware I've made a complete fool of myself in front of you, but I just hope you can see past it. Give me a chance, I think you'd like me.

7. Considering I've known you my entire life, I really know very little about you. I'm fond of you the way I should be, you make me laugh with your stupid musings and the weird things you say. You never talk about your self or your past, we're alike in that way. I do want to know more about you. But I have too much pride to admit it.

Tuesday 20 April 2010

30 Days

I havn't been able to post in a while due to problems with my laptop, but I'm starting again! I thought I'd have a go at this:

Day 01 — Your favourite song
Day 02 — Your favourite movie
Day 03 — Your favourite television program
Day 04 — Your favourite book
Day 05 — Your favourite quote
Day 06 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy
Day 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 — A photo you took
Day 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently
Day 12 — Whatever tickles your fancy II
Day 13 — A fictional book
Day 14 — A non-fictional book
Day 15 — A fanfic
Day 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancy III
Day 19 — A talent of yours
Day 20 — A hobby of yours
Day 21 — A recipe
Day 22 — A website
Day 23 — A YouTube video
Day 24 — Whatever tickles your fancy IV
Day 25 — Your day, in great detail
Day 26 — Your week, in great detail
Day 27 — This month, in great detail
Day 28 — This year, in great detail
Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy V

Tuesday 30 March 2010

The Perfect and the Flawed.

It has become a strong view of mine that need to stop worrying about their flaws and just be proud of who they are.

I know this sounds embarrassingly cliched, but it's true. Who would you be if you were perfect?

I know a girl, who is the closest to perfect anyone can possibly be. She's pretty, kind, friendly, well-adjusted, smart, organised, talented, grounded, kind, polite and helpful. She is also the most boring person I have ever met. I don't mean to be mean, I feel kind of awful writing this. She's a lovely girl, she really is. But there's just nothing of interest about her.

Flaws are what make people interesting. I suspect maybe I have a soft spot for extremely flawed people more than others do, perhaps because I am very flawed myself, but I think they are interesting to everyone.

The smart, talented girl who is also insecure, manipulative and bitchy? I love her.
The strong, beautiful girl who is also unstable, distant and heartless? I love her too.
The fun, charismatic guy who is also self-destructive and violent? I adore him as well.

The thing is, it is our flaws that make us real, interesting. We are nothing without them.

fashion inspirations in the form of film/tv characters.

What I love about fashion is that feeling of dressing up. People (mostly guys) will often say to me, "Why are you wearing that?!"
It's always struck me as an insanely odd question. Does there really need to be much reason to wear something? I'm wearing it because I feel like it. "But why would you were four-inch heels to college?" Why not?

Sometimes I'll go out wearing a cropped, black-ruffled bolero in a size 14 (I'm a size 8, I never even looked at the size until I took it home) with heels on my feet and my hair in an updo. It makes me feel like a glamourous upper east side girl. It's fun. Or I'll wear my favourite scuffed, chunky biker boots with a tiny top of a dress and a leather jacket, my hair a complete mess. Makes me feel like a dishevelled bad girl. It's fun. Some days I'll dress like I'm something out of the 70s (which, by the way, is why I'm thrilled about the return of clogs), or wear my make-up sixties style.

I just love that aspect of dressing up. If I could I'd probably leave the house in fancy dress each day. Ever since I was little I was constantly dressing up, as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, or Hermione from Harry Potter. I remember begging my mum to cut and style my hair to match the twins in The Parent Trap. On fancy dress days at school, I'd create superheroes for me to masquerade as (one, complete with fabric yellow boots and a red leotard). In fact, right now, opposite there is a picture of me, aged about 7, dressed as Jessie from Toy Story, another one of my fixations.

Different figures from film and television have always influenced the way I dress, which is why below I've outlined some of my favourite inspirations.


Effy Stonem, Skins




Ever since I began watching Skins, I've had a massive fixation on the character Effy. I feel a kind of love for her which probably isn't entirely healthy considering she's a fictional character, but I can relate to her more than any other film or television character I know of. Stylewise, she has been a very powerful influence over me. Although I've always favoured a look similar to her's - dishevelled, sexy, effortlessly cool - she's inspired me to try different things and given me new ideas.

Effy's style has evolved throughout the four series of Skins - from emo kid in Series 1 (sporting stripy socks, converse, tiny mini skirts, ripped crop tops, chipped nails, the usual effotless hair and smokey eyes), head-turning goth in Series 2 (tiny ripped dresses, fishnets, a lot of black, hair quiffed and backcombed, smokey eyes), sexy rock chick in Series 3 (barely there dresses, fishnets, biker boots, a lot of chains, leather jackets, ripped jeans, rock tees, messy hair, smokey eyes or a bare face) to indie girl in Series 4 (glitzy hotpants, boyfriend blazers, doc martens, leather jackets, wet-look leggings, sparkly tops, hippy headbands, loose dresses, hoodies, boyfriend jeans, checked shirts, messy hair and barely there makeup) - yet there is always something so distinctly 'her' about her outfits. I may have labelled her styles, but the truth is, you really can't put her into any label. Whatever she's wearing, you always get the distinct feeling that she has not tried or thought about it whatsoever, and that she doesn't care what you think.

She's inspired me to have a more fearless approach to dressing. And it's partly her that gave me my love for leather jackets, biker boots and barely-there dresses. It's also her that's made me proud to have naturally messy, wavy hair. Although she's no longer in Skins, she will forever influence my style.



Hallie & Annie, The Parent Trap




I can't remember how old I was when I first watched this film. 6, maybe? 7, at the most. But I vividly remember watching it. I remember my mum had borrowed the film from a friend, and we were watching it in the lounge. I loved it straight away. From that moment on, I decided I would emulate the twins in every way possible. I still adore The Parent Trap. I loved their little outfits, so different from one another - Hallie in her cool, casual shorts and tees, and Annie in her prim little suits and dresses. And I loved their hairstyle - shoulder-length, little side fringe, half-up half-down. One of my earlier fashion memories, Hallie & Annie helped me along the way to my fashion obsession.



Jessie, Toy Story




I really did used to be obsessed with Jessie. I remember well the devestation when I lost my Jessie doll. I loved her and always harboured fantasies of dressing like a cowgirl, complete with her bright red hair. Not an easy look to pull off, but I dyed my hair red a fair few times after that. Still, I managed to fulfill my fantasy of being Jessie when a fancy dress day at school came along, and I coerced my mum into making a Jessie outfit, complete with cow-print chaps, a shirt with the right red and yellow details and a bright red hat. I further accentuated my look with sprayed-red, plaited hair and pencilled-in red eyebrows.



Cristina, Vicky Cristina Barcelona




I'm sure it helps that Scarlett Johansson is so naturally beautiful, but I love the fresh, natural look Cristina displays whilst immersed in the heat and culture of Barcelona. Her loose tees and trousers, complete with tousled hair and barely-there face showcase her natural beauty, and I've always thought people look their most beautiful when natural. Although, it's likely this is only the case when it comes to very beautiful people. Still, Cristina's character has inspired me to go oh so natural every now and then, especially in the summer when the sun somehow makes you forget your flaws.


Dorothy, The Wizard of Oz




Dorothy may have, quite possibly, been my first ever style crush. Memories of running through my house in a blue-and-white checked school dress, red shoes and my hair in plaits, a toy dog in my arms, still persist. Amd because of this I will always love Dorothy's cutesy style. I almost want to immerse myself in the primness, the innocence of the way she dresses.


Elizabeth Swann, Pirates of the Caribbean




I simply cannot watch Pirates of the Caribbean without succumbing to the strength and elegance of a corset, a ridiculously princessy ballgown and done, tumbling curls. Can you imagine it? Lithely walking through the cobbled streets in your beautiful dress and heels, conveying your grace and power with every step. Despite my love of all things effortless, I never have been able to deny my yearning for this kind of dressing. I love it.


Jackie Berkhart, That 70's Show




It is not the glamourous perfection of Jackie's look that I adore, but more the pure, well, Seventies-ness of it all. The high-waisted flairs and the wooden clogs and the Farrah Fawcett flicks. I love it all. That sense of the past. A lot of people look at fashion trends from the past with a confused kind of disbelief, but I love it. I'd happily walk down the street dressed like something from the 70s.


Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl




I'm almost certain that everybody interested in fashion has, at some point, fallen in love with Blair's style. I adore Blair, and I love how her style matches her personality. Again, it seems I harbour a love for both the effotless and the perfected. I love Blair's styled ringlets and her flawless make-up. Her prim headbands and put-together outfits. There must be some kind of guilty pleasure in dressing that way. Which is why sometimes I can't help myself.


Lena Kaligaris, The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants




I love her style for similar reasons that I love Cristina's in Vicky Cristina Barcelona. All floaty white skirts and loose tops and tousled waves. It's fresh, breezy. This kind of dressing makes me feel alive. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the pureness of it all - it's so natural, it's who you are. It's liberating to be natural. Kind of free.


All the girls, The Boat That Rocked




Ah, the Sixties. My favourite decade despite my lack of existence during it's run. I sincerely hope the Sixties come into fashion sometime soon, so I can justify wearing white leather boots and brightly coloured mini dresses. The girls in this film are typical Sixties girls and I love them.


Hermione Granger, Harry Potter




Hermione Granger may appear an unlikely style icon, but who wouldn't love to be a 12-year-old prancing around the halls of Hogwarts? And whose style better to emulate than Hermione's? True, they all wear school uniforms - maybe it's her personality that gives her style. All I know is, when I was a kid playing Harry Potter, I would always dress like Hermione, complete with wildly crimped hair and a precocious manner.


I am probably far too easily influenced by film and television characters, but I adore them nonetheless.

Top 20 Female Teen Stars...

...To Watch Out For.

There seems to be a constant obsession over the up-and-coming young stars, and I'm no exception. While not all of these are up-and-coming, in fact many have already established themselves as talented, successful young girls, they all possess a certain quality which makes them interesting to the public. The heading is 'Top 20 Female Teen Stars To Watch Out For' and that's why some of the most famous on this list (Chanel, Miley, Taylor) are not as high as you might want them to be. You don't need to watch out for them, you already know them. I've included people I think have a certain something, whether it be drive, talent, beauty or charisma - this list is not entirely based on fame, & that is the reason you won't see certain famous disney kids I have no interest in.

20. Lucie Jones



Sweet 19-year-old Lucie came to fame on this year's X Factor, a show I was sneakily drawn into by the odd & entertaining lure of Jedward, and although she was voted off halfway through the live shows, her amazing voice, pretty face, headline-grabbing style & sweet personality might just win her a singing career.

19. Megan Prescott



Famous for her portrayal of 'popular' but slightly psychopathic Katie on E4's hit teen drama Skins, 18-year-old Megan seems quiet and ever-so-slightly shy in real life. While she may not be getting as much media attention as her twin sister Kathryn, Megan plays the character of Katie to perfection, and I have a feeling she will be making even more of an impact in the upcoming fourth series.

18. Willa Holland



18-year-old Willa doesn't grab the headlines every second of the day, but she's showed she can act on big shows such as The OC and Gossip Girl, and films including (but by no means limited to) Genova and the up coming Straw Dogs. It may be just the parts she plays, but Willa seems to have a certain powerful presence on screen which means you can't help but watch her. Oh, and if you havn't noticed, she's amazingly gorgeous.

17. Lisa Backwell



You can't help but feel both intrigued and amused whilst watching kooky Pandora Moon dance around at the Love Ball on the aforementioned Skins, and she's such an adorable character thanks to 19-year-old Lisa. Upon watching interviews with Lisa, you'll find that she's just as adorable in real life, with a sense of humour that'll have you wondering why she's not in comedy.

16. Pixie Geldof



But what does she actually do?
I hear you ask...Well, the notorious 19-year-old may only be famous due to the simple fact that she's Bob Geldof's daughter, but she possesses an effortless cool and original fashion sense that have the fashion pack running after her in their hundreds.

15. Georgia Groome



17-year-old Georgia came onto the scene as typical teenage girl Georgia Nicolson in chick-flick Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging, and is now viewed by almost everyone as as fresh and innocent as her character, but there is no denying that she has talent, and this is just as evident in more recent films The Disappeared and Leaving Eva. Although I doubt Georgia will ever become a tabloid regular (and some people seem to think that the measure of success these days) I think she has a very successful acting career ahead of her.

14. Lily Loveless



Loved by Skins fans everywhere as one half of favourite couple Naomily, 19-year-old Lily made us believe in the beautiful, sexually confused, outspoken and witty Naomi. Outside of Skins, Lily has made an impact with her stunning looks, spot-on dress sense and lovely personality. Not to mention that with a name like hers, how can fame not be on the cards?

13. Georgia Jagger



Far from your typical it-girl, 17-year-old Georgia - Mick Jagger's daughter - has never actively seeked media attention and you won't see her in the gossip rags. Featuring in top fashion magazines such as Vogue, she is making her way in the fashion world as a very distinguised and respected young model - with her full lips, gap-toothed smile and mane of golden hair, she's easy to pick out in a crowd.

12. Chanel Iman



At the young age of 19, Chanel is already one of the most established supermodels in the world. That's pretty impressive!

11. Taylor Momsen



16-year-old Taylor is famous everywhere due to her portrayal of Jenny 'Little J' Humphrey on America's hit teen drama Gossip Girl. Breaking out of the teen mold, Taylor's bold, rocky style singled her out of the crowd and gave her a new attitude which led to people dubbing her 'Courtney-Love-esque'. I predict Taylor will become extremely famous, and not only that, but successful too, due to her role on Gossip Girl and modelling contract with IMG models.

10. Cory Kennedy



You might say that 19-year-old Cory is just an it-girl with no reason for being famous and no right to be on this list, but I would disagree with you. Cory is not a royal heir or the daughter of a famous couple. Neither is she famous because of a kiss-and-tell or because she stumbled out of a well-known nightclub once. She's famous because she put all her effort into making a name for herself over the internet and because, let's face it, there is just something about her - and that takes drive. And that's why she's on this list. Not to mention she has amazing style that I've never seen on anyone else, nor am I sure anyone else could pull off.

9. Lauren Socha



I've completely fallen in love with the loud, chavvy, ever-so-slightly aggressive but lovely Kelly on E4's new drama Misfits, and I can't stress enough how amazing 19-year-old Lauren's acting is. She has raw talent, and I'm sure she has a successful career ahead of her.

8. Emma Roberts



Charming and beautiful 18-year-old Emma steals the scene in every film she stars in, and is the reason I've watched feel-good chick-flick Wild Child more times than I can remember. She has a list of ahcievements behind her, starring in Aquamarine, Nancy Drew, tv show Unfabulous, the addictive Wild Child, Hotel For Dogs and more, and has six new films coming out - dramas Twelve, Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac, It's Kind of a Funny Story and What's Wrong With Virginia, romcom Valentine's Day and thriller 4.3.2.1. There's no stopping Emma Roberts.

7. Dakota Fanning



At just 15, Dakota is the youngest on this list, but also one of the most talented. Watch her in any one of her films - from War Of The Worlds to the more recent New Moon - and you'll see that she has talent way beyond her years.

6. Pixie Lott



18-year-old Pixie came out of nowhere in 2009 and she's now one of the biggest popstars around - with two number ones, a unique & sexy image and a wide fanbase, I can only see the gorgeous Pixie going from strength to strength in the new year.

5. Miley Cyrus



I suppose 17-year-old Miley had to come in the top 5, didn't she? I have nothing against her and actually love dancing around to a bit of Party In The USA, but she's not one of my favourite teen stars and I would have preferred others higher in the list. But, you've got to hand it to her - she's America's reigning teen queen and man, does she know how to sell a record...As well as that, I recently saw her interviewed on Alan Carr's Chatty Man and have to admit that, if a little annoying, she seemed pretty funny.

4. Kathryn Prescott



Ah, Kathryn, the girl everyone (who knows who she is, of course) has fallen in love with. Due to the 18-year-old's performance as the insanely lovable Emily on Skins, Kat has become the girl everyone wants to be friends with. As well as the talent she clearly shows whilst acting, Kat is very, very beautiful with her glistening eyes, bewitching smile and bright red hair, and possesses a quiet confidence, bubbly personality and sexily husky voice. See, listen to the way I'm talking - I've fallen in love with her, and Emily isn't even my favourite character!

3. Kristen Stewart



While she may not have as devoted fans as her co-stars Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner, the Twilight movies wouldn't be the same without 19-year-old Kristen. Her portrayal of Bella is so fresh and real, and in real life she has a kind of beautiful awkwardness which I think makes her more interesting, and maybe even draws people to her in a weird way. She seems to stray from conformity which makes her even more individual. And whether she likes it or not, she's currently one of the biggest stars around.

2. Kaya Scodelario


Quite possibly the most strikingly beautiful girl I have ever seen, 17-year-old Kaya never fails to fascinate me. On screen she is amazingly talented, having some kind of hold over the viewer. She draws us all in as the mysterious and promiscuous Effy on Skins, and is by far the most notable member of all the Skins cast (bar Dev Patel). As well as Skins, Kaya has starred in sci-fi film Moon, and in up-and-coming titles Shank and Clash Of The Titans. On top of all that, she's signed a modelling contract with Models 1 and is constantly appearing in the pages of glossy fashion mags. She has gained the most recognition out of the Skins cast, and seeing the way she can convey so much even when never speaking at all, it's not hard to see why.

1. Emma Watson



Who could be number 1 but the lovely Emma Watson? At 19 years old, Emma has been in the public eye as Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter series for nine years, and has grown up with us. It wasn't hard for me to pick a number 1 - Emma came to mind straight away. She's talented, clever, elegant, stylish, and has transformed into a beautiful young woman before our very eyes, and it's not unrealistic of me to say, quite simply, that everybody loves her.
I'm choosing to be anonymous, but you can call me Kaia. I'm an English teenager, using this blog to post my views on fashion, music, art, the world, writing, books, film, television, life and the people in it.

I doubt it will be particularly deep or serious, and not because I lack the ability to be that way, rather because this is an outlet in which I choose not to be that way.

Despite the fact that I currently have no followers, I hope that soon I will and that you will be somewhat inspired or amused by my posts.