Seven messages to seven people.

The idea of this post is to write seven messages to seven people that you have things to say to, but don't have the guts to say to their face. Useful for me, because telling people things is something I literally have no idea how to do.

1. I have no interest in being your friend anymore, you're so full of shit. You're so occupied with yourself and your problems that you can't give any time to anyone else's. I at least make an effort to understand why certain things are important to you, but you can't do the same for me. I've known you my whole life and I can't help but care about you, but I'm done. We're so different from each other and I thought we could make it work but we can't. You never take me seriously just because I'm not as interested in the traditional things you are. I'm fed up of your excuses, I wish you could just be honest. I can tell you think I'm heartless and impolite sometimes, but at least everything I say isn't an outright lie. You can't always say what you think people want to hear regardless of whether it's true, it doesn't work like that. We both know that what friendship we used to have is gone and we both know that the other knows. I can't put up with you any longer. To be blunt, I love you, but I want nothing to do with you anymore.

2. I havn't known you for very long, and we know little about each other. But I feel different with you - I feel like a better person. You make me happy, and not many people do. I don't know what my feelings for you are, what category they're meant to fit into. But everything doesn't need a category, does it? Not yet, anyway. And I think I might have fucked it up, said the wrong thing. Or maybe I havn't, maybe you don't care. I don't know, but I'm worried because you havn't spoken to me since. I'm worried that your perception of me has changed, that you don't like what you see anymore. It shouldn't be a big deal, because as I said, we havn't known each other long. But all I know is this - you make me happy, and I want you to be in my life.

3. You know, I don't know how to feel about you. I love you. I always will. All I know is that from the moment I met you, you made a major change in my life and in myself. You are the only person who knows me for who I really am, even if I don't show it much anymore. The only person I have ever let my guard down in front of. You know who I am under the facade. I fell in love with you, whether you really loved me as you thought you did, I'll never know. But I don't think it matters, not really. We had a connection and then we fucked each other up. It doesn't matter. What's done is done. I feel no regret anymore. You are still the person I feel most comfortable around. We don't talk much anymore, but that doesn't matter either. I am comfortable in the way I feel about you and the past that we share. I feel like I'm getting a bit cliched here.. I don't have feelings for you anymore, like you don't have feelings for me. But I care about you a lot. I don't know if you care about me, but it's not of any relevance. I believe everyone you ever meet leaves some kind of mark on you, and you left one of the biggest.

4. Never have I felt such conflicting emotions towards someone as I have towards you. I can go from feeling fond and loving towards you to feeling intense hate and distaste towards you. Sometimes you repulse me. Sometimes I empathise with you. I love you but I've never worked out whether I like you or not. We are alike in a lot of ways, though I hate to admit it. We are both independent and secretive and reckless. But we are also not alike, and I hate how you try to make out that we are. I'm quiet, where you are loud. You talk about yourself too much, I avoid talking about myself at all. You are judgemental of others and far too superior, I am open towards others and, mind the cliche, think we're all equal. I hate the fact that I have accidentally let you know too much about myself, but I like it too. I argue with you more than anyone else. I know you get frustrated with me because of the way I am, but can't you see there's something wrong? I want to tell you but I don't know how.

5. I'm very, very, very fond of you. Sometimes I question whose death would hurt me the most, and come to the conclusion that it would be yours. I love you very much although I'm almost certain I have never told you. I hope it goes without saying. I'm glad that we get on. We might not talk much, but I feel a bond with you. We'll always be in the same boat no matter what happens. We've always been together, you and me. One day, I hope that we become closer.

6. I barely know you but I think we'd be fucking good together. You've no idea how much I want to talk to you, but I just don't know how. I don't know what to say. I know more about you than I should, considering we've probably said one sentence to each other in our entire lives, but what I do know, just makes me think....fuck, this guy seems amazing. And I think we'd be good together, I really do. I'm aware I've made a complete fool of myself in front of you, but I just hope you can see past it. Give me a chance, I think you'd like me.

7. Considering I've known you my entire life, I really know very little about you. I'm fond of you the way I should be, you make me laugh with your stupid musings and the weird things you say. You never talk about your self or your past, we're alike in that way. I do want to know more about you. But I have too much pride to admit it.